I have been doing a lot of reminiscing lately. Daily, I catch myself going through newborn photos of Isla, commenting on how tiny and sweet she was as a fresh 7 pound baby. I just can’t seem to get my head around the fact that we will soon be celebrating her second Christmas and that she will be 16 months old. It just doesn’t seem possible!
Now I want to make it very clear that I am not in new baby mode or anything. I don’t think Dana and I are ready to make our family bigger. We definitely are enjoying life as the 3 of us and we want to be able to enjoy Isla as much as we can as an only child before, Lord willing we add another little one to the mix.
The past few weeks especially, Isla just seems to have come into her own self. She seems so grown up and wants to do everything on her own. I have nothing to compare her too but I could never picture a 15 month old wanting to be so independent. It’s been getting me a little sad. Sure I still get hugs and slobbery kisses but not the usual snuggles I use to get on a daily basis. “Does she still need me?” I will catch myself asking that question.
The other night at 2am I heard her cry and I walked into her room and she had her little arms outstretched for me. It was the sweetest thing. I picked her up and and we swayed around her room for a bit while I sang “Jesus Loves Me.” It always seems to relax and calm her down if she has woken up upset. We sat down in her glider and she immediately snuggled right into me. It hasn’t been that long but to me it felt like ages since she has fallen asleep in my arms. I touched her cheeks and hair, played with her little ears and listened to every little breath she took. I didn’t want to let her go. I didn’t know when she would really need me again. Before I knew it, it was nearly 4:30 in the morning. I couldn’t bring myself to put her down but I did…only because I was falling asleep.
Later that morning when we all woke up to start our day, I was still greeted by that same smile and outstretched arms. I still got my morning kiss and the wave goodbye when I dropped her off at daycare. I realized that she will always need me. Maybe some days more then others but that 2am wake up call was just what I needed. Those moments are so special and I love that I am the one she gets to share them with.