I have been telling Isla I love her since the day she came into this world. That sweet little girl was loved the second we knew she was conceived and ever since that moment I have longed to experience the feeling of love from her towards me, her mom.
Every morning when I drop her off at the sitters I say “I love you. Have a great day.” Sometimes I get a “you too”, “thank you”, “love me too”, or if I am really lucky a sneeze in the face to really get my day started.
When I pick her up, she tells me with enthusiasm how her day was, what she did, what songs she sang and what she ate for lunch. I tell her how much I missed her and how I thought about her all day. She will give me a hug, kiss my nose and show me she loves me and missed me too but I still don’t get those 3 little words that I long to hear.
At night when I tuck her in, she requests to have the biggest kiss and hug, wants me to read her her favourite books and when I say “I love you. Sweet dreams” I may get a “lub you too. Big hug” and she wraps her arms around me so tight that it lets me know that just because she can’t tell me those words yet, she knows the feelings and she knows how to show me. A kiss here, a hug there, a wrap around the leg, a whisper in my ear shows me how much she cares about me even if she doesn’t know how to tell me yet.
The other night, her bedtime started off as any other night would. The usual running around the house, not wanting to put her pajamas on, wanting to do so many things that are suddenly on her list of things to do and MUST be done before she goes to bed are all things that can make a relaxing bedtime routine somewhat of a pain in the a** until something magical happened. Just as I had enough of the jumping on the bed and I want this and this and this, I told Isla “Goodnight. I love you.” She stopped everything she was doing, gave me the biggest hug I had ever felt from the littlest hands, grabbed my cheeks, gave me the sloppiest kiss and said “Night mommy. I love you so much!” The happiness and meaning in her voice was enough to make this hormonal, pregnant momma break down and cry. It was the sweetest sentence I had ever heard in all my life coming from the sweetest voice and the most precious girl. Needless to say I allowed her to jump on the bed for a few more minutes.